Aesthetics day off – Liam Pringle
This aesthetics day off was so late because my previous experience was one that I didn’t want to talk about, and so i just put it off. But seeing as school is almost over and just off of the weekend that I had, i have more motivation to get this done.
For me an aesthetic experiences is one that you are feeling something; any kind of emotion from happy to sad. As well, when you are experiencing it you don’t worry about the things around you, you don’t care about how you look, or how people around you are acting. The final thing that makes an aesthetic experience for me is that you need to be really engaged in the emotion that you are feeling at that time.
On this weekend I had many plans, I was going to have fun with my friends, try and ask someone out, and have fun. But, to little surprise to me, this did not happen. I found myself with my friends but feeling very alone, i felt isolated from the group; not due to their actions, but because my thoughts had taken control. I couldn’t stop overthinking things and beating myself up for it. And the second thing that I wanted to do never happened too, that was to little surprise to me as I had thought about doing it before. The next day I couldn’t stop thinking about how I had messed up again; and the thing about me is that i don’t forget, so when I feel sad i bring back all the other sad experiences that I have ever felt. As a result from this, I remembered how at the end of every school section (elementary and middle) I end up alone. As well I get it stuck in my mind that I am a loser and can’t do anything.
I am no stranger to this aesthetic experience, so it has already affected my view on everything. My view on this is that no matter how sad or upset I am, i keep it inside. And I use humor and other things to “hide it”, because for me I don’t like seeing people sad. So if I can make people happy then its worth all the sadness that I can feel.